As you may be able to tell by now, I’m not always in despair; not a permanent resident of the dark side. Being able to move from darkness to light is what gives me hope, and keeps me going even in the hardest of times.
Here’s a glimpse into my process for moving from darkness into light. A very big part of moving, for me, includes God. Not the God you learned about in religious school, or from your parents, or from reading the Bible, but a more consistently loving God. So…here’s a poem I wrote recently, before the spring thaw made it to Boston. It came to me during a Shabbat service, while I was praying.
These are dark days literally, figuratively. Winter’s doldrums a political climate akin to a nuclear winter hatred, mistrust, rage oozing from our populace’s pores. Hope has become a four letter word. Over and over in hard times trying times times of loss times of pain times of angst I lose hope misplace it leave it in a safe place that I promptly forget. With hope’s loss I lose God. Over and over I feel myself plummeting free-falling out of control without hope without God without desire for life wishing it would end feeling the need for peace for quiet for death. And yet… Over and over and over again God comes back breathing life into me anew. I rediscover the power the peace the inner quiet that God is, to me that God means, to me that God grants, to me. Over and over and over again I find God and hope trailing close behind with light and laughter and love. My desire to live is rekindled God’s fire stoking it God’s breath feeding it hope no longer a four letter word.