Today was my mom’s birthday
she is no longer of this earth
except in memories
which abound
from me
from my family and friends.

Today I am broken
my heart has a crack a mile wide
it beats:
to the tune of her voice singing to beat the band
to the ring of her laughter at a joke’s punch line
to the twinkle in her eyes as she let loose with a pun
to the brilliance as she solved the NY Times crossword
to the skill of a master teacher inspiring her students
to the unbreakable bond between her and my daughter.

I fill the crack with my memories
making myself whole again
honoring my mom as she would want
carrying her with me
crying as I smile
laughing through my tears
loving through my pain.

I am repaired
kintsugi healing the rifts
and rips left behind.