Consequences & How We Misuse Them

Great advice on consequences – and tremendous clarity for me. Thanks, Visible Child!

Visible Child


As most of you who read this blog know, I’m a stickler for words and definitions.  One of the places in which this comes up most frequently is in regard to “consequences.”  It’s not that I like being annoying, it’s that I just can’t help myself from commenting on this.  Not to skirt responsibility or anything, but I do have a mother who still, at age 95, corrects my “too” with “also” and my “yeah” with “yes.”  I just come by it honestly, that’s what I’m sayin’.

So when I read parents talk about their commitment to using “natural consequences” (a popular term these days) and then go on to describe things that are not natural consequences, it’s like fingernails on a chalkboard.  I try to be quiet or just leave the room or do my best to ignore it, but at some point, I find myself just covering my…

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About armsakimbobook

I'm a mother, a lawyer, a feminist, a writer, a potter, and an inveterate and unapologetic New Yorker. My book, Arms Akimbo: A Journey of Healing, tells of my journey of healing over a number of years, learning to live a full life after I was molested by my father at a very young age. I live in Maynard, MA, with my wife and and our two moose-cats, Samson and Hercules. My daughter used to live with me part-time, but she's all grown up now and in her junior year of college, which I can't quite fathom, since she was born about five minutes ago...
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