#BlogElul 4: Understand


When I saw today’s theme, I was tempted to write: “See Day 3.” Because I kinda sorta wrote about understanding yesterday. (Silly me…didn’t look ahead.) But that would be the easy way out. And I’m not really known for that – not by those who really know me.

I’m a ponderer. A digger. Tenacity is my middle name. (Not really.) So I went back a day, and re-read my post. Which was about searching for understanding. And realizing that sometimes one needed to stop the search. Hit the reset button. The undo arrow. You get my point, right?

This Elul, that’s what I’m doing. Hitting the reset button. Going back to Square One, in a positive sense – this time with the understanding that I don’t need to understand it all. That my endless life-long quest for knowledge and self-awareness has landed me in limbo-land (or worse) far too often for my own good. Instead, I need to go back –and move forward – by just being…without expectations, without fore-knowledge, without the oversized baggage I’ve schlepped along for the endless rides to failure.

No expectations, no disappointments. That’s my theory. It’s mine. And mine alone. (Two points if you catch the reference. Leave me a comment and let me know.)

Once again, I’m participating in #blogElul, which I have followed for a few years. I’ve found it helpful as I ponder and reflect in the month before the High Holidays – Yamim Noraim. Check out some of the amazing  themed posts geared around the work and joy of Elul – of introspection and reflection in the days leading to the High Holy Days (Organized by Ima Bima.) You can read prior years’ #blogElul posts via the Elul tag.

About armsakimbobook

I'm a mother, a lawyer, a feminist, a writer, a potter, and an inveterate and unapologetic New Yorker. My book, Arms Akimbo: A Journey of Healing, tells of my journey of healing over a number of years, learning to live a full life after I was molested by my father at a very young age. I live in Maynard, MA, with my wife and and our two moose-cats, Samson and Hercules. My daughter used to live with me part-time, but she's all grown up now and in her junior year of college, which I can't quite fathom, since she was born about five minutes ago...
This entry was posted in Elul, Healing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to #BlogElul 4: Understand

  1. This is currently pretty relevant for me. Searching vs. understanding.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s