#blogElul 2017 – Elul 9: See

There is seeing blogelul+2017
and there is seeing.
Glancing versus observing.
Scanning versus scrutinizing.

In moments of anger/angst
I have avoided, evaded
eluded, deluded
but rarely, if ever, denuded.

Viewing rage’s effects only on self
is an empty exercise
creating a chasm of self-condoling
lacking in lovingkindness.

AdobeStock_122981584

 

I have wreaked enough havoc
squandered enough trust
caused enough pain
broken enough hearts.

It is time to open my eyes
forswear shuttered lids
acknowledge my actions
and atone.

 


Once again, I’m participating in #blogElul, which I have followed for a few years. In past years, I’ve found it helpful as I ponder and reflect in the month before the High Holidays – Yamim Noraim. Check out some of the amazing themed posts geared around the work and joy of Elul – of introspection and reflection in the days leading to the High Holy Days (Organized by Ima Bima.) You can read prior years’ #blogElul posts via the Elul tag.

About armsakimbobook

I'm a mother, a lawyer, a feminist, a writer, a potter, and an inveterate and unapologetic New Yorker. My book, Arms Akimbo: A Journey of Healing, tells of my journey of healing over a number of years, learning to live a full life after I was molested by my father at a very young age. I live in Maynard, MA, with my wife and and our two moose-cats, Samson and Hercules. My daughter used to live with me part-time, but she's all grown up now and in her junior year of college, which I can't quite fathom, since she was born about five minutes ago...
This entry was posted in Elul, Grieving, Jewish, Judaism, Poems, self-loathing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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